The Mega Millions lottery jackpot is at a record-high right now, and people are coping with their slim chances of winning by making jokes.
Nobody claimed the winning numbers on Friday night, so the Mega Millions jackpot is now the largest lottery prize in U.S. history. Clocking in at a whopping $1.6 billion, players have a chance of bringing home a lump sum of $905 million (or a veritable lifetime of ever-increasing annual payments).
If you win, you’re basically an instant billionaire with the equivalent of the GDP of a small nation.
Twitter users are already trying to get cozy with the potential winner.
If any of my followers won the lottery tonight remember this: you were always my favorite. Fuck everyone else. It’s always been about you, buddy. Me and you.
— “Hayes Brown” But A Halloween Pun (@HayesBrown) October 20, 2018
Some daydreamed about what they would spend the winnings on
if i won the lottery i would spend some of the money i think
— jake (@callmeshitto) October 20, 2018
If I win Mega Millions, I’m going to buy up all the guns so I can melt them down and use them to create a new line of gay wedding rings.
— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) October 18, 2018
If I win the Mega-Millions I’m gonna quit my job and dedicate my energy exclusively to tweeting.
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) October 19, 2018
Others took a more pessimistic view of the lottery
Most people were just salty about the whole situation
So help me, if all these people standing on line to buy a lottery ticket don’t also stand in line to vote in a few weeks, imma be hella angry.
— Peter Shankman (@petershankman) October 20, 2018
Whoever wins the Mega Millions jackpot will be poised to become the first billionaire to pay taxes
— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) October 20, 2018
Ugh, the thing that sucks about this Mega Millions thing is I didn’t buy a ticket but those are exactly the numbers I would’ve picked.
— Chris Rongey (@ChrisRongey) October 20, 2018
I kinda feel like it’s unfair I didn’t win the mega millions but ok
— Nick Peterson (@NickPetersonTV) October 20, 2018
The chances may be extremely slim, but you still have a shot at winning: The next drawing for America’s next billionaire is Tuesday.