We’ve all had our fun debating which Chris is the best Chris, which Chris makes the best movies, which Chris is the funniest or prettiest or most talented.
But c’mon. Deep down, we all know it’s Hemsworth, right?
Or at the very least, we all know someone who does. We’re talking about that friend who has Hemsworth’s GQ cover as their lockscreen, who regularly references that SNL “Brunch” sketch from three years ago, who even watched that terrible Huntsman sequel as an act of love and loyalty.
So what do you get the person who’s already collected every Thor Funko Pop model in existence, and who not only owns all the Thor and Avengers movies but has seen each one roughly fifty times?
This was the movie that would’ve made Hemsworth a star… if it hadn’t been shelved for two years due to the studio’s financial difficulties, leaving Hemsworth to make his meteoric rise with Thor instead.
Granted, most hardcore Hemsworth-aholics will have seen this early gem already. But if they haven’t, this is your chance to be the hero who shows them one of his best movies ever. If they have, they’ll definitely welcome a rewatch. And if they already own it, they’ll love having a spare copy they can forcibly lend to people in an effort to spread the Hemsworth love. Wins all around!
Best for: Intro-level Chris Hemsworth fans
Price: $7.88 on Amazon
If the ideal gift is one the recipient would love to have but would never think to buy for themselves – well, here you go. No one ever thinks to buy themselves a life-size cardboard cutout of Chris Hemsworth, and yet you know your Hemsworth-loving mate will be thrilled to have him lurking, lifeless and two-dimensional, in the corner of their home.
Best for: Someone who is not overly precious about their home décor
Price: $36.99 on Wayfair
Whether your friend wants to be Chris Hemsworth or just date him, they’re gonna have to take up surfing at some point if they want to level up as a true stan. You can get them started with a surfboard from his favorite brand, Emery (seriously, he posts about them on Insta all the time).
The company also makes clothes and hats if you’d rather just dip your toe in – we suggest this tank, modeled on the site by a very familiar looking godlike torso.
Best for: The Chris Hemsworth fan who covets his surfer-bro lifestyle
Price: $800 at Emery Surfboards
There may be no better way to celebrate Chris Hemsworth than by visiting his favorite place in the world, his home country of Australia. Plus, he’s a spokesperson for their tourism board, so he’s got tons of recommendations for places to go and things to do. Go ahead, create an entire itinerary based on Hemsworth’s own hand-picked selections.
Best for: Danny McBride, the other spokesperson for Australia’s tourism board. He loves visiting Australia!
Price: Various on Google Flights
It doesn’t matter what time of year it is – ’tis always the season to celebrate Chris-mas, and our Chris-mas cards will help you do just that. (There are Pine, Pratt, and Evans versions available as well, just in case one of your friends stans a lesser Chris.) As a bonus, these cards are 1) free and 2) instantly accessible. So easy.
Best for: The Chris Hemsworth fan you forgot to get a gift for, oops
Price: Free at Mashable
True commitment to the Chris Hemsworth stan lifestyle means thinking about him morning, afternoon, and night. Help them get the day started off right with this Etsy mug, which is decorated all over with Chris Hemsworth’s face. Sounds more pleasant than sticking your entire face in a bowl of ice, Chris Hemsworth-style, anyway.
Best for: People who enjoy a nice view with their morning coffee
Price: $16.98 on Etsy
For extra credit friend points, consider getting them this Chris Hemsworth pillow from Redbubble as well, so that they can also end the day cozying up to the Best Chris. The black-and-white color scheme makes it look almost elegant… or about as elegant as “throw pillow with a famous person’s face on it” is ever going to get, anyway.
Best for: Either your friend that is going to joke about “sleeping with Chris Hemsworth” at every opportunity, or your friend that definitely would never make that joke, depending on your tolerance for this particular joke
Price: $19.94 on Redbubble
If your friend’s main attraction to Chris Hemsworth is his sense of style, the good news is that it’s not that hard to dress like him. Sure, some of it will cost you a pretty penny – like this TAG Heuer timepiece – but what’s a few thousand dollars between friends?
… Oh, it’s actually a big deal, you say? There’s no way you’re shelling out $5K? Maybe try scoping out Hemsworth’s other favorite fashion and beauty brands – like Lee Brennan jewelry ($80 and up at Lee Brennan Design), Hurley board shorts ($40 and up at Hurley), Kevin Murphy hair wax ($31.49 and up on Amazon), or Boss Bottled cologne ($70 and up on Ulta).
Best for: The most stylish Chris Hemsworth fan you know
Price: $5,450 at TAG Heuer
Bring cheer to a Chris Hemsworth fan, Chris Hemsworth himself, and a bunch of Australian kids all at once with a donation in your friend’s name to the Australian Childhood Foundation, one of Hemsworth’s favorite charities.
Best for: The most generous Chris Hemsworth fan you know
Price: Suggested donation tiers start at $20 AUD at Australian Childhood Foundation, but you can contribute as much or as little as you like.
People‘s people have made some verrry questionable choices when it comes to Sexiest Man Alive (… him?), but 2014 is the year they got it totally right. Help your friend think back to better days with this prime piece of memorabilia. Inside, enjoy many pictures of Hemsworth’s shirt straining to contain his enormous biceps – and also a nice photo of that other great Chris, Pratt.
Best for: Anyone who thinks People‘s Sexiest Man Alive is a deeply silly tradition in line with the worst impulses of our shallow, image-obsessed society, but still has a whole lot of Opinions about each year’s pick – so, everyone
Price: $12.99 and up on eBay, at time of writing
We’ve tried to be good in this gift guide and offer you suggestions you can actually use – but even we can acknowledge that an enormous Chris Hemsworth cutout or a terrifying Chris Hemsworth mug isn’t going to suit everyone’s lifestyle.
If you’d like to give your friend something they can actually display at the office or in their home without looking like an obsessed oddball (even though they totally are – no shame, so are we), how about this impressively lifelike sixth-scale figure of Thor from Sideshow Collectibles? They can stare at Hemsworth’s face all day without weirding out the folks around them.
Best for: People whose employers and/or families would not be amused by jokes about “sleeping with Chris Hemsworth”